What do you remember?
Write two things you remember from last lesson in Writing. No peeking: just what's in your head.
- Vague: way better, a lot. Exact: a number. Then he can picture it.
- Every sentence proves the claim. Cut what doesn't. Not everything that happened.
Anything you missed? That's the bit to hold on to today.
Make your first call
Your buddy tells you about his elk hunt. “We hiked in at 4 a.m. We glassed the ridge for two hours. Also, my boots got soaked. Then it got dark, and we hiked out.”
He's finished talking. What do you still want to know, and why does his story feel like it stopped too soon?
Saved. You'll come back to this at the end.
Join it up, land it, check it
Same job: explain to a classmate how a paper bridge carries a load. Same test: flat sheet 2 coins, folded 45, tubes 30. Section 1 says folding makes paper stronger. Section 2 says real bridges use the same trick.
Between the sections goes a link. “Also” or “Next” only adds or points ahead. A real link points back at what section 1 showed, then forward to where section 2 goes.
At the end comes the landing. It says what the sections added up to and answers the question your opening asked. Nothing new at the end: no filler, no new facts, no numbers the test never gave.
Then you switch sides. Read your draft as the classmate would. Where would he get stuck? Mark that spot and fix it right there. Check every number against the test: 2, 45, 30. If a reader leaves a note, go to the line it points at and fix that line.
Jake's whole draft
One sheet of printer paper across a 20 cm gap, with coins added until it gave way.
Flat: 2 coins. Folded into a zig-zag: 45 coins. Rolled into three taped tubes: 30 coins.
“How can one sheet of paper hold up 45 coins? It's all in the shape.”
“Folding made the paper far stronger. Flat, the sheet held 2 coins. Folded, the same sheet held 45. Each fold stands up like a small wall, and a wall is hard to bend.”
“Also, bridges are cool.”
“Real bridges use the same trick. Steel bridges put ribbed metal under the road, with ridges standing up like the paper's folds. The ridges stay stiff without the metal being thick and heavy.”
“In conclusion, paper is amazing and bridges are absolutely outstanding. Folded paper can hold 100 coins.”
The middle is solid. But “Also” joins nothing, the ending is filler, and 100 coins never happened. The opening asked a question, and the ending never answers it. That's today's work.
Join it up. Back, then forward.
Build Jake's link
Jake's “Also, bridges are cool.” gets struck. Build him a link in two halves: first the half that points back to section 1, then the half that points forward to section 2.
Use it right away
“Three ways to join section one to section two.” Which sentence does both jobs?
Write your own link sentence from section 1 to section 2. It should point back to a number from section 1, then forward to real bridges.
Land it. Nothing new at the end.
Two endings for Jake
Same draft, two ways to end it. Only one ending lands what the draft actually showed.
In conclusion, paper is amazing1 and bridges are absolutely outstanding2. Folded paper can hold 100 coins3.
So the shape matters more than the paper4: folded, the same sheet held 45 coins instead of 25, and engineers use the same idea in steel6.
A classmate finishes reading. Which ending leaves him knowing what the piece proved?
- Filler. It says nothing the reader can use.
- Loud, not exact. Struck.
- Made up. The test said 45.
- What the sections added up to.
- The test's numbers, the same ones as section 1.
- From section 2. Nothing new.
Use it right away
“Three endings for the bridge piece.” Which ending follows from the draft?
Now write the ending of your own draft: two or three sentences, using only numbers and facts your sections already give.
Reread it as your reader.
Would he get stuck?
Read each line from Jake's draft the way a classmate would, with only the test to go on: flat 2, folded 45, tubes 30. Is it clear and true, or does it need fixing?
Use it right away
A draft says: “The flat sheet held 5 coins.” What's wrong?
Reread your own ending as your classmate would. Copy the one spot where he'd get stuck, or a number that doesn't match the test, then write it fixed.
Ask it at the start. Answer it at the end.
Does it answer?
Jake's draft opens with “How can one sheet of paper hold up 45 coins?” Which last line answers that question?
Use it right away
The opening asks: “Why did the folded sheet beat the flat one?” Which ending answers it?
Copy the question at the top of your draft. Then write one closing line that answers exactly that question.
Fix the spot your reader names.
Fix it where he points
A reader handed Jake's draft back with one note in the margin. Follow the fix one step at a time.
- Predict: Where does Jake go first?
- Beside “The tubes held 30 coins.” the reader wrote: “What's a tube bridge?”
- Predict: What's missing from “The tubes held 30 coins.”?
- Straight to that one sentence. Not a new draft: the rest of the piece worked.The note points at one line. That's the line to fix.
- How the tubes were made. The reader never saw the test, so “tubes” means nothing to him.
- Predict: What else should Jake check in that line?
- Fixed in place: “Rolled into tubes, the same paper held 30 coins.”One sentence changed. The reader now knows what the tubes were.
- The number. The test said 30, and the line says 30. It stays.
- Struck: “He wasn't reading properly.”If a reader got stuck, the draft has a gap. That's for the writer to fix, not the reader.
Use it right away
A reader's note on it: HOW MANY? “Folded, it held lots.” What do you do?
A reader wrote “Like what?” beside your line “Real bridges use the same trick.” Rewrite only that sentence so he can see it.
Your turn, no help
Luke's bridge draft is nearly done. Help him with two last spots.
One of these comes from earlier lessons, mixed in. For each one, decide which idea it needs before you answer.
- Luke's last paragraph: “Flat, the sheet held 2 coins. Folded, it held 45. The tubes held 35.” One number isn't from the test. Type just that number.
- Jake's plan: “Test: one sheet of paper, coins added. What comes next?” What comes right after the test?
You answered both of these in the practice above. They look alike. For each one, write what you did first, and the word or sign in the question that told you to do that.
Back to your first answer
When you finished a school paper in the past, what did your last paragraph usually say, and did you read the paper again before handing it in? What will you do differently now?
In five lines
- Also only adds. Next only points forward. A link does both: back…. …then forward.
- Land what the draft proved. No filler. No new facts or numbers.
- Not “looks fine”. Mark where he'd get stuck. Check each number.
- The ending answers the opening's question. On topic isn't enough.
- Go where the note points. Fix that line. Not a new draft. Not the reader's fault.
Test yourself
Answer in your head first, then tap the card.
Listen to advice
“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice” (Proverbs 12:15). Rereading as your reader and fixing the spot he names is listening. “My answer was right” is the other road.
What today showed
- Your work
- Complete the lesson to see your record here.
- Standards
- W.8.2c: Use appropriate and varied transitions to create cohesion and clarify the relationships among ideas and concepts
- W.8.2f: Provide a concluding statement or section that follows from and supports the information or explanation presented
- W.8.5: With some guidance and support from peers and adults, develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, editing, rewriting, or trying a new approach
- L.8.6: Acquire and use accurately grade-appropriate general academic and domain-specific words and phrases